Pregnancy Dos and Don'ts - The Dont's

Help your spouse steer clear of these pregnancy no-nos to help keep her and the baby safe and healthy:

Avoid fish with lots of mercury in her diet. Get correct information from your dietician on what fish to eat and what fish to avoid when she is pregnant.
Don't disregard food borne illness. Eat, cook, handle and clean food safely! According to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, food borne illness can cause serious health problems - or even death for both mother and baby.
Protect her from using chemicals. Products including herbicides, pesticides, paint, stains, and some cleaning solutions may be harmful to your baby. If she must use these things, make sure she wears gloves, a mask, and keeps the room well-ventilated.
Don't let her clean or change a cat's litter box. This could put her at risk for an infection called toxoplasmosis. Toxoplasmosis is caused by a parasite that cats can carry in their feces. Toxoplasmosis can harm a fetus.

Don't let her take very hot baths, hot tubs, or saunas. According to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, high temperatures can be harmful to the fetus, or causing the mother-to-be to faint.
Discourage her from using scented feminine hygiene products. Pregnant women should avoid scented sprays, sanitary napkins, and bubble bath. These products might irritate your spouse’s vaginal area, and increase her risk of a urinary tract infection or yeast infection.
Don't let her douche. According to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, douching can irritate the vagina, force air into the birth canal and increase the increase the risk of infection
Avoid optional x-rays. X-rays are a form of radiation that is linked to a very small risk of cancer for an unborn baby. But x-rays are usually safe during pregnancy. So if your doctor says your spouse needs x-rays for a health problem you should follow her advice. But sometimes doctors can use other tests in place of x-rays. And other times, x-rays can wait until after the baby is born.
Don't let her smoke tobacco. Tell your doctor if your spouse smokes. Quitting is hard, but she can do it. Ask your doctor for help. Smoking during pregnancy passes nicotine and cancer-causing drugs to your baby. Smoke also keeps your baby from getting needed nourishment and raises the risk of stillbirth and premature birth (a small baby born too early).
Discourage her from drinking alcohol. Your spouse should stop drinking alcohol if she drinks it regularly. Experts are still unsure of the exact amount of alcohol needed to cause problems in your baby. But, both drinking every day and drinking a lot of alcohol once in a while during pregnancy can harm the baby.
Don't let her use illegal drugs. Tell your doctor if your spouse is using drugs. Marijuana, cocaine, heroin, speed (amphetamines), barbiturates, and LSD are very dangerous for your spouse and the baby.

Menopause and Mood Swings

Menopause equals mood swings. You know, where the slightest request from your husband can cause you to go off. Or perhaps the cries of your child for a new Playstation game makes you lose it. Mood swings, which can trigger the sudden onset of crying, play a significant role in the menopause game and are often one of the first things women notices that causes her to suspect perimenopause. Characteristics of menopausal mood changes include extreme irritability, concentrated anxiety, depression, indifference (neutral feeling to both good and bad situations), and nervousness.

Menopause and mood swings work together because changes in hormonal levels (most notably, progesterone and estrogen levels) take place. For one, hormone levels may affect the level of serotonin (the ¨emotional chemical¨) in the brain, causing depressive symptoms. Women often times feel insecure and irrelevant about themselves and their current roles, contributing more to feelings of worthlessness.

Other factors that trigger mood swings in menopause sufferers are the symptoms they face. Tinnitus (whooshing and ringing sensations in the ear due to nerve damage as a result of aging & hearing loss), incontinence (abnormal bladder behavior), and hot flashes also add on to the overall crankiness a menopausal woman can face. And of course, low levels of serotonin, and lack of progesterone production that relieve stress levels, can lead to the sudden onset of crying – a definite disadvantage to any woman under this condition.

Mood swings can be drastically reduced by following a course of action such as a weekly exercise regimen. Exercise, specifically meditation and yoga, has been proven to relieve mood swings. Besides, it is the ultimate anti-aging activity – women who exercise well into their sixties report looking and feeling younger. Another objective is to have a steady social support group to turn to. Menopause sufferers will find soothing words by their family and friends a positive contributor to their overall well-being.

The third course of action is to follow the right diet. Caffeine loaded drinks like coffee and soda will not work for you: it will only excite you leading to restless sleep making you cranky throughout the night. Drink certain teas that increase serotonin levels in the brain, like passionflower and chamomile, will also relax and provide for blissful sleep.

Grab the milk bottle in the refrigerator and warm it up – tryptophan, a component found in warm milk, is known to increase serotonin in the brain as well. A multivitamin and mineral supplement may also help load your body with the right nutrients, balancing things out. So, avoid menopause mayhem and eliminate mood swings and the sudden onset of crying by following the above advice – feel refreshed mentally and emotionally for a better day.

How to Manage Anger

Yelling, throwing things, and generally blowing your top aren't the only signs of anger. Sulking, nagging, and crying are also common expressions of anger.

Besides alienating others, chronic anger can contribute to a variety of unpleasant ills, including headaches, skin rashes, stomach upsets--even high blood pressure.

If you tend to get angry easily and often, take these steps to help you control this negative reaction.

Count to ten at the first twinge of anger, and take three or four slow, deep breaths. The angry
impulse may pass.
If it's convenient and you feel a major outburst coming on, take a short walk until you calm down.
Don't resort to nagging or door slamming. If someone says or does something that bothers you,
discuss it calmly.
Distract yourself. If you're stuck in traffic, for example, try to accept the delay and recognize that it's
beyond your control. Pounding the horn and cursing at other drivers only prolongs your agitation.
Instead of sounding off, play pleasant music on the radio or listen to an interesting program.

MIND YOUR THOUGHTS

Have you ever thought about the fact that there is never a moment when you are not thinking—that whatever happens in this world begins with a thought? Here are five simple steps to help you manage your thoughts and achieve success and happiness in life

BE AWARE OF YOUR THOUGHTS
Start watching your thoughts, without identifying with them. Watch them as a detached observer.

You may even get carried away by your thoughts. Never mind. It is natural—especially for a beginner. What you need to do, whenever you detect this, is to take yourself out of your thoughts immediately and get back to the process of thought-watching once again as a detached observer.

Do not get perturbed by your thoughts. Don't condemn or justify them. Don't try to control them. Just watch them. After some time, you will come to know what your negative thoughts are about. Now concentrate on all the positive thoughts that you can replace these thoughts with, in order to switch over to a more positive attitude towards them. Our attempt should be to cut down the quantity of unnecessary thoughts and to improve the quality of the necessary ones. Keep yourself busy. Simple food, deep breathing and relaxation exercises also help manage your thoughts easily. Expect less from others.

IDENTIFY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Keep a logbook. Jot down your thoughts. Write down happenings of the day. Were they positive, appropriate and adequate or were they confused, superfluous and negative? Could you notice the interval between the happening and your response? If yes, could your foresee your negative thoughts? If not, what can, you do to notice this interval? Was there any discrepancy between words and thoughts? If yes, was it justified—could you find a better way of harmonizing your words and thoughts? Was the verbal response necessary, appropriate and adequate?

Sometimes we talk to others, or simply to ourselves, or think about something just like that. Ask yourself what provoked you to take the initiative to start a conversation. Was it essential? What was the purpose? Did it serve the purpose? If no, then why not? Did it use any unnecessary and emotionally charged negative words? Were the words used in thinking, inner dialogue or in talking to the other person, precise, appropriate, adequate and positive? Did you feel happy or satisfied after the interaction with the other person or with your inner self? Can you find ways of improving your performance as a thinker or a speaker?

Keep in mind that logbooks are meant to get you started and make you aware of your negative thoughts. It is far more important, however, to be aware of these thoughts when they are just taking birth, rather than leave them for later analysis.

Be conscious of the interval that separates the event from thoughts with which you respond to the event.

NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Imagine a strong sun radiating a powerful light. Use this mental sunshine to kill your negative, undesirable thoughts, emotions and images as and when these are detected. Take this sun as a mighty weapon which is always on the alert and which automatically chases any negative thought and kills it with a flash and then withdraws. Don't forget to imagine that this sun is your faithful friend and is extremely kind to you.

Keep a note of how many times you need to call the sun for its services. There will be a gradual increase, followed by a drastic fall. This is so because initially the number of times you call on your mental sunshine increases gradually as your awareness of your thoughts grows.

The drastic fall is because what we do not use (the negative thoughts, in this case), we tend to lose.

REPLACE WlTH POSITIVE THOUGHTS
A vital step in this process is the immediate replacement of all negative thoughts by the positive ones. The shorter the interval between the disinfecting and the replacing stage, the better it is. Longer intervals between these two events weaken the impact of the positive thoughts. Our success and happiness depend on identifying our goals precisely and chasing them effectively, both of which, in turn, depend on how well we manage our thoughts. The quality of our thoughts decides the quality of the outcomes we land up with. Thoughts have the power to materialize themselves because they are instrumental in channeling energy towards the physical or mental condition they are about.

External situations and the remarks of others can harm us through our thoughts—but only to the extent our thoughts allow them to. So think positive. Talk positive. Read positive quotable quotes of great people. Surround yourself with posters and cards bearing positive messages. Keep them on your table. Hang them on the walls. Paste them near the bathroom mirror and on the doors. Stick them on your watchstrap. Keep them on the refrigerator. Have them on the dashboard of the car. Slip them under the glass of the table in front of you. Slide them in the inner side of the briefcase you carry. Find other suitable places where you are bound to look at them every day.

Remember that these messages will stale with prolonged use. So keep changing their position and contents. Do not let the momentum of these thoughts get weaker.

Use them appropriately in response to specific negative thoughts. The replacing thought must be positive in every sense. Apart from being inspiring and assuring, it should also be suggestive. For example, if you confront a negative thought, "I can never succeed", it will not suffice if you replace it with "Sun! Attack! I can succeed". This kind of replacement may not be effective, for it sounds like wishful thinking and lacks assurance, depth and penetrating certainty. It is better to break your replacing thought down into more definite and specific steps or instructions.

The replacing thought in this case may be: "I can succeed. By earlier failures I have become rich in experience and have come to know specific areas that require special attention. I will jot them down and systematically think of the ways in which I can improve. I shall plan. And then stick to it. There is absolutely no reason why I should not succeed. I will assess, plan, execute, monitor, modify and carryon with the plan, and finally succeed. In fact, I think that success has already been achieved and only time separates my thought of success and its transformation into reality. I am committing myself to all that is required to achieve success. I am a river that knows no obstacles. I shall find my way anyhow—and if there is none I shall make one."

REINFORCE
Thoughts like these can be further reinforced with emotions and images. All this may take longer than one single replacing thought, but these are far more effective since they allow you to divide the desired target into workable units. Focus on a pleasant event that took place in the past. This way your thoughts will turn positive and your emotions and images will reinforce each other, resulting in an overall positive attitude.